Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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