why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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