you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
