Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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