did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
