Duck Duck Cougar?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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