When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
