im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
