so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
