dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
