I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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