I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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