My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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