Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
