Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
