Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize