I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She is in my trunk
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
