try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
