I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize