You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
