let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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