I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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