I cannot find my penis.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
