just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just had sex on a roof
Randomize
