i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
