I'm going to jail i love you
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
