HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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