WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just google imaged poop.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
