I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
