I wannas sexs uuuuu
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
