I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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