she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
