there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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