i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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