Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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