she looked like the before picture.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize