batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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