What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
