I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
