I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
