At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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