My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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