Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
