Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
