I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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