Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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