moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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