i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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