Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
