my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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