Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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