This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Farmville is her only friend.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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