If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We need to get me chipped asap
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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