Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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