Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
