i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
