our cab driver is having phone sex.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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