I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
