After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
