From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
