Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
